Quotes of the Week: Summer I Turned Pretty, Resident Alien, RHOM and More
Yahoo is using AI to generate takeaways from this article. This means the info may not always match what's in the article. Reporting mistakes helps us improve the experience.Generate Key TakeawaysTV is responding to the news that CBS has cancelled The Late Show With Stephen Colbert, and our Quotes of the Week column has rounded up all the best reactions so far.
In the list below — which features our picks for TV’s most memorable lines from the past seven days— you’ll find newsy sound bites from The Late Show With Stephen Colbert, The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon, The Daily Show and South Park. Plus, we’ve got more quotable moments from nearly a dozen other shows including Resident Alien,Countdown,Big Brotherand more.
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AdvertisementAdvertisement#_R_glokr8lb2mav5ubsddbH1_ iframe AdvertisementAdvertisement#_R_10lokr8lb2mav5ubsddbH1_ iframeAlso included in this week’s roundup:Destination Xserves up a box of tricky artichokes,Match Game’s Martin Short fills in one too many blanks and The Real Housewives of Miami pays homage to Carrie.
Scroll through the list below to see all of our picks for the week, then hit the comments and tell us if we missed any of your faves!(With contributions from Nick Caruso, Charlie Mason, Matt Webb Mitovich,Dave Newetz, Kimberly Roots and Ryan Schwartz)
THE LATE SHOW WITH STEPHEN COLBERT
THE LATE SHOW WITH STEPHEN COLBERT“Over the weekend, somebody at CBS followed up their gracious press release with a gracious anonymous leak, saying they pulled the plug on our show because of losses pegged between $40-50 million a year. $40 million is a big number. I could see us losing $24 million, but where would CBS have possibly spentthe other $16 million? Oh, yeah.”
THE LATE SHOW WITH STEPHEN COLBERT (Bonus Quote!)
THE LATE SHOW WITH STEPHEN COLBERT (Bonus Quote!)“On Friday, Donald Trump posted, ‘I absolutely love that Colbert got fired. His talent was even less than his ratings.’ How dare you, sir! Would an untalented man be able to compose the following satirical witticism? [Turns to camera] Go f—k yourself.”
THE TONIGHT SHOW STARRING JIMMY FALLON
THE TONIGHT SHOW STARRING JIMMY FALLON“Everybody is talking about CBS’ decision to end The Late Show With Stephen Colbert, and many people are now threatening to boycott the network. CBS could lose millions of viewers, plus tens of hundreds watching on Paramount+.”
THE DAILY SHOW
THE DAILY SHOWAdvertisementAdvertisement#_R_idokr8lb2mav5ubsddbH1_ iframe AdvertisementAdvertisement#_R_12dokr8lb2mav5ubsddbH1_ iframe “Shows that say something, shows that take a stand, shows that are unafraid— and, believe me, this is not a ‘We speak truth to power.’ We don’t. We speak opinions to television cameras. But we try. We f—king try, every night. And if you believe, as corporations or as networks, you can make yourself so innocuous that you can serve a gruel so flavorless that you will never again be on the boy king’s radar, A) why will anyone watch you? And you are f—king wrong!”
SOUTH PARK
SOUTH PARK“You guys saw what happened to CBS? Yeah? Well, guess who owns CBS? Paramount! Do you really wanna end up like Colbert?”
Jesus Christ warns the citizens of South Park to make stay on President Trump’s good side
THE SUMMER I TURNED PRETTY
THE SUMMER I TURNED PRETTY“I’m over his dumb ass. At this point, he could come crawling on the floor, begging on his knees, asking for me back and, like, I wouldn’t care… Unless, like, did he say something to you? Did he say something?”
AdvertisementAdvertisement#_R_jhokr8lb2mav5ubsddbH1_ iframe AdvertisementAdvertisement#_R_13hokr8lb2mav5ubsddbH1_ iframeYes, Taylor. You are so over Steven
THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF MIAMI
THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF MIAMI“Carrie… Remember Carrie? When they dumped the blood on her? That’s what I felt like when I was sitting there. [Guerdy] invited Julia to the party, told her to be the prom queen, told her to dress up in white, and then dumps all the blood on top of her. You know, it was that whole vibe.”
Marysol on Guerdy revealing private text messages from Julia at her Celebration of Life event
RESIDENT ALIEN
RESIDENT ALIEN“Could you please cover up the dead alien statue father thing? It’s making me want to barf.”
“Do not disrespect my dead father who I just murdered!”
Even though he just killed his own dad, Harry (Alan Tudyk) demands a little respect for his dearly departed pa
COUNTDOWN
COUNTDOWN“Hey, boss. I was just telling Meachum you should never take Highland. Always head down Cahuenga ’cause traffic near the Bowl blows, right?”
AdvertisementAdvertisement#_R_l9okr8lb2mav5ubsddbH1_ iframe AdvertisementAdvertisement#_R_159okr8lb2mav5ubsddbH1_ iframe“Do you mind if I…?”
“No, of course. Yes.”
Blythe (Eric Dane) walks in on Amber (Jessica Camacho) and Mark’s secretive bathroom convo
BIG BROTHER
BIG BROTHER“Zae getting evicted is a perfect lesson in the Rachel Reilly Handbook 101: Don’t come for the queen or you’re gonna get beheaded.”
Returning champ Rachel shed zero tears while kicking Season 27’s first boot Zae out the door
BIG BROTHER (Bonus Quote!)
BIG BROTHER (Bonus Quote!)“Will, am I your lemon drop then?”
After nominee Will calls his wife his “chocolate drop” on live TV, host Julie Chen Moonves surprises us all with this spontaneous li’l joke
IT’S ALWAYS SUNNY IN PHILADELPHIA
IT’S ALWAYS SUNNY IN PHILADELPHIA“The world just has not delivered on the future that we were promised when we were growing up. We were promised mud wrestling! We were promised wet T-shirt contests! We were promised women going wild! At a certain point, we stopped women from going wild! Why did we do that?”
AdvertisementAdvertisement#_R_n5okr8lb2mav5ubsddbH1_ iframe AdvertisementAdvertisement#_R_175okr8lb2mav5ubsddbH1_ iframeDennis (Glenn Howerton) envisions a brighter future for America in the form of… wet T-shirt contests, we think
MATCH GAME
MATCH GAME“It’s time to take a break, because to be honest my bladder is the size of a thimble. In fact, the only time I don’t have to pee is when I’m peeing.”
Host Martin Short should have left that blank unfilled
MATCH GAME (Bonus Quote!)
MATCH GAME (Bonus Quote!)“I didn’t drink from it, so it’s fine.”
“I wouldn’t care if you did.”
As the credits roll, panelist Selena Gomez rides to the rescue of Game 2’s dry-mouthed winner
DESTINATION X
DESTINATION X“Pretty sure it’s not a flower. It’s not a turnip. I know what this is. I know what this is… I got anchovies on my mind now… Artichoke! Oh my god, that’s what it is.”
AdvertisementAdvertisement#_R_otokr8lb2mav5ubsddbH1_ iframe AdvertisementAdvertisement#_R_18tokr8lb2mav5ubsddbH1_ iframeShayne’s brain is a mysterious place
GENERAL HOSPITAL
GENERAL HOSPITAL“I’m a doctor, not a florist, and I will not be a party to baby’s breath.”
Ask Obrecht (Kathleen Gati) to help with a wedding bouquet at one’s own risk
THE CHI
THE CHI“Brother Hannibal! The church welcomes you with open arms.”
“Thank you. I see how you was welcoming my wife, with your arms.”
Hannibal (Chris Lee) isn’t a fan of how warmly Charles greets old friend Angie
WATCH WHAT HAPPENS LIVE
WATCH WHAT HAPPENS LIVE“Not being her mother-in-law is a role that I’m glad that I lost.”
Denise Welch on her son Matty Healy’s breakup with Taylor Swift
WATCH WHAT HAPPENS LIVE (Bonus Quote!)
WATCH WHAT HAPPENS LIVE (Bonus Quote!)AdvertisementAdvertisement#_R_r1okr8lb2mav5ubsddbH1_ iframe AdvertisementAdvertisement#_R_1b1okr8lb2mav5ubsddbH1_ iframe “Which actress do you feel you deserved the Emmy over — Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Rachel Brosnahan, Catherine O’Hara or Jean Smart?”
“F–king all of them bitches!”
When Tracee Ellis Ross plays Plead the Fifth, she does not mess around
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