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‘Wait, Sylvie’s Dad Plays?!’ The Joy of Fortnite Parenting

CecilyGames2025-07-034220

I'm in the end stages of a Fortnite battle royale. The game's lethal storm circle is tightening around the combat zone, a sleepy beach town with a bubblegum-pink ice cream parlor, and the handful of remaining squads are duking it out for survival. My three teammates, who are all children, are taking intense fire. One squares off with an especially ruthless competitor and is promptly dispatched. “Watch out, that kid is sweaty,” he warns. Another falls to a grenade burst with a cry of “I'm knocked!” A third pleads for the Fortnite equivalent of a field medic: “Rez me!”

And then—suddenly, alarmingly—the game is in my hands.

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A torrent of instructions, piped out in shrill voices, comes crackling through my headset. As I chug a health-restoring Shield Potion, a grinning gold-crowned skeleton drops in front of me, taking aim with a Pump Shotgun. I try to switch back to my weapon, but my fingers fumble and I pull out a healing Bandage Bazooka instead. “What?!” my squad mates cry in unison as I'm eliminated. “He was a bot!” It's the worst put-down in the Fortnite lexicon: A bot, in this case, isn't an AI but simply a human who sucks at playing.

Then, through the headset, I overhear a deeper, more authoritative voice on someone's audio feed.

“Ollie, that was your last game.”

“Dad! Please one more?”

“No.”

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